Tuesday, February 28th
Today marks 23 months with the most amazing man I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing and loving. Words cannot even begin to describe how eternally grateful I am to have met the love of my life, my better half, and my soul mate.
Josh has the amazing gift of perception. Even since the very beginning of our relationship, he has had the ability to almost read what’s’ going on in my web of a mind. Sometimes, I think he knows me better than I know myself.
The first time this rare trait of his was on display was almost immediately after we had started dating. I got in a t-bone accident, and ended up totaling my car. Even though we had been dating for less than a week or two, he was the first person I called. Before I could even ask, he was on his way to pick me up and make sure I was okay. He let me stay on his couch that night, and rubbed my back until I was able to drift off to sleep. In the morning, he woke me up and made sure that I ate. Usually, I’d view this type of behavior as controlling or aggressive, but the manner in which Josh handed me three granola bars (yes, rather excessive, but cute nonetheless) was such a loving gesture, I knew right then I was falling for him.
It took me about a month before I opened up to him about my eating disorder. He took it so well, almost as if it hadn’t jarred him at all. I was rather surprised, seeing as I personally would have an issue dating someone with that kind of baggage. I forget exactly what he said, but it was something along the lines of, “we’ll continue to work through this together.”
Throughout the course of our relationship, he has exhibited extreme understanding in regards to my eating disorder behavior. He challenges me to be a healthier version of me, ensures I’m fueling my body adequately, and promotes healthy exercise, and makes me feel beautiful just the way I am. He’s quick to call me out when I begin showing signs of a potential relapse. I honestly couldn’t think of a more perfect man for me.
At the walk on Sunday, I couldn’t help but look up at him and wonder,
“What if my prayers to die had been answered 8 years ago, and I never had the chance to get to know Josh?”
I remember being 15 years old, lying in my bed and contemplating how many more days I’d have to go without food in order to finally leave earth. How warped is that? It’s times like this where I realize that God’s grace is sufficient, and His plans are far better than our own.
I’m so incredibly thankful for my amazing, hard-working, perceptive, fun-loving, sweet, trustworthy, and respectful boyfriend. I can’t imagine doing life with anyone else ❤