Making decisions has never been a strong suit of mine. Perhaps it’s because I’m chronically predisposed to overthink absolutely everything, or maybe it’s just a personality flaw. I don’t think I’ll ever figure it out.
One thing I do know, however, is that I’m almost always drawn to the decision that accompanies the greatest level of outward prestige. This is definitely an issue, because no matter how good a life choice may seen on the outside, if it doesn’t feel good on the inside, what’s the point?
So I’m almost a month in to my first full-time job as a senior project specialist working for a large national bank. Last Thursday, we had our All Employee Event (kind of like an annual meeting), and I was less than impressed. I didn’t feel like I was really on board with everything they were saying, nor did I feel like I was part of the company.
Now before you go saying, “well obviously, you’ve been there less than a month…” hear me out. Even though I’m bad at making decisions, I am good at listening to my gut. My internal instincts have never led me astray, and I feel like this decision just wasn’t the best.
I was drawn to this position because I would be starting at both a higher salary, and at the senior level. I thought I’d be interested in project management, because it had the word, “management” in it. Not to be a prude, (okay, I sound like a complete prude) but I was good at managing group projects in college, so I figured it would translate into the working world, right? Nope. This past month I’ve taken more meeting minutes than I know what to do with. Have I learned anything valuable about project management? No to that, too.
Would I consider my job prestigious? Not exactly. Do I see eventually becoming a project manager as my next career progression? Absolutely not. I find it hard to see anything glamorous in managing everyone else’s work, and not doing any of the actual work myself. Yes, it is a skill to run a successful project, but it’s not something I foresee myself doing in the near or distant future.
When I was trying to decide where I wanted to go to college, I surprisingly made up my mind quickly. In my heart, I knew I wanted to be a Gopher. Neither a hefty scholarship from the University of Wisconsin- Milwaukee, nor an early decision from the University of Wisconsin- Madison could sway the maroon and gold coursing through my 18-year-old veins.
I was fortunate enough to attend the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities for the entirety of my freshmen year. I made lifelong friends, fell deeply in love with my school, and absolutely loved my experience as a Gopher.
However, when I was calculating out my finances after my freshmen year, I realized that it would be next to impossible to continue on the debt trajectory that I was on for the next three years. It made me sick to my stomach. I thought I was destined to start a Gopher, and graduate a Gopher. However, no matter which way I ran the numbers, it didn’t add up to being a responsible choice of continuing enrollment at the U.
I made the heartbreaking decision to transfer to the University of Wisconsin- Eau Claire. Honestly, I chose to go there because of it’s close proximity to the U and all my friends there. I really didn’t enjoy being on the tiny campus, surrounded with extroverted liberals, sitting in dingy old buildings, and the lack of organizations that catered to my personal interests. (I had been a very active member of Women in Business (WIB), and Truth in Business (an organization for Christians in business) while at Carlson, and Eau Claire didn’t have anything similar.)
Instead of drearily trudging through the remaining three years at Eau Claire, I made friends, applied for and was accepted to two different internships, joined the Campus Ambassadors (volunteer tour guide association), and tried my best to not act like I had one foot in Minneapolis, while one was stuck in Eau Claire.
I realized that it wasn’t the prestige of the U that was drawing me back to Minneapolis, it was the home-like feeling, my friends, and the overall climate of the city.
Thankfully, Josh and I decided to move back to Minneapolis after I graduated and the company he works for was more than generous with him. They covered moving expenses, ensured a direct transfer (he’s working for the same team, same department, and doing the same work as he did in Eau Claire- wow.)
Josh. He truly is the love of my life, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s honestly my better half, and I am 100% in love with him.
We made the decision to live together last year for my last semester of college. After I got back from my internship in Minneapolis last summer, I moved in to his apartment with him. We had two rooms, but shared the kitchen and main living space. I couldn’t imagine/dream up a better roommate. He is perfect. He cleans up after himself, he’s happy, he asks how my day was, he’s everything you’d imagine a perfect roommate to be.
After I graduated, we decided to continue our living arrangement, and began renting an apartment close to both of our workplaces. It’s an absolute joy living with my best friend.
Yesterday, he got home before me. We had planned on going out for sushi for dinner, and I offered to pick him up on my way home. Instead, he asked if I’d come inside first- he had a surprise for me!
- Side note: We tried on engagement rings back in October. I know that proposal is on his radar, but I’m getting antsy. I think it’s because I have this desire to get married in October (10/28 to be exact… we will have been together for 31 months on that day, it’s my mom’s half birthday, and it’s the last weekend of October- my favorite month). I just want to get started with the planning, and the excitement of it all, you know? It makes me wonder why he’s waiting so long, and what’s he waiting for anyway?
When I got up to the door, he opened it and greeted me with a big kiss. Behind him, I saw he had created a blanket fort in the middle of our living room 🙂 I’ve been teasing him for a while about the notion of being silly and making a blanket fort and filling it with our plethora of pillows. I squealed with happiness and ran over to the fort entrance- there was something inside! I crawled in, and saw my beautiful pink bubble envelope containing my January Ipsy bag!!
- Another side note: I signed up for Ipsy back in September. It’s only $10/month and each month you get a cute little carrying bag and five items tailored to your particular beauty rituals. At the beginning, you fill out a survey containing questions like your normal make-up regimen, your skin type, hair/eye color, etc. It’s great, I love it. Highly recommended.
I tore into my bag, and examined all the contents and then scurried to the bathroom to immediately begin testing all the products out. After I was all glammed up, we left for Kyoto (no, not the city, the sushi restaurant… Josh had accidentally typed in the city to his phone, and was confused as to why it was so busy and why they didn’t list the hours… lol).
Even though we enjoy making our own sushi, it was a real treat to go out and experiment with new and fun flavors:
- Rainbow Roll
- B.C. Roll
- Salmon, avocado, cucumber, topped with tobiko
- Sexy Girl Roll
- Spicy tuna, crunchy inside, spicy crab meat on top
- Cucumber Avocado Roll
- Spicy Tuna Roll
- Volcano Roll
- Kyoto Roll
- wrapped in soy bean paper (wouldn’t recommend)
- Spider Roll
I guess all and all, it isn’t about the prestige of it anyway. Whether we’re talking about the reputation of a senior level job title, prestigious schools, or the status that comes along with wearing a diamond on your finger, it’s all just another level of life. Yes, you want to make the best decision with the information you have, but as long as the decision isn’t based solely off of what other people think, I think I’m in the clear.