Christmas is always a touchy time for a lot of people. There’s so much hype, hustle, and anticipation for one day.
In our family, that’s no exception. As I’ve mentioned before, my sister abdicated her role as a family member back in early 2014. Obviously, her decision had impacted my parents (namely my mother), in more ways than one. Holidays are never easy for my parents, and I find myself treading on eggshells more times than not.
This Christmas season, I decided to spend some of my time off of school with Josh and his family. I absolutely adore his family. His parents have been married over 28 years, his younger sister is my age (and is super relatable), and their little dog is beyond precious. On top of all that, they’re overwhelmingly inclusive, interested in my life, and maintain communication via group texts and frequent facebook/email communication. I’ll admit it: I’m envious of the beautiful family Josh comes from, but also beyond grateful that they’ve welcomed me in as beautifully as they’ve done.
Over the several days I spent with Josh and his family, we got to visit both sides of the family and meet his grandma, cousins, aunts, and uncles. Everyone was eager to meet me and make me feel welcome.
Usually, my mom’s side of the family celebrates New Year’s at her brother’s home near the cities. (Ironically, they live in the same city that Josh’s parents live in.) I texted my uncle to ensure it was okay that I brought Josh along for the celebration. I figured that my family would be equally excited to meet the man that made me so happy.
Slight backstory on my uncle and his wife: They are an interesting duo that I’ve never gotten along with very well. I remember growing up and being constantly chastised by them for being, “too loud” or “too energetic.” Aren’t all kids? Anyway, they don’t have kids of their own, so I’ll let those offenses slide.
They took me to Italy during my freshmen year of college as my high school graduation gift. Although it was an incredible experience, everything we did was five-star. I remember at one point my aunt freaked out at one of our room attendants for not, “turning out beds down.” What? I can turn my own damn bed down, thank you. And I can have a hell of a lot more fun in a foreign country without spending $400/night on a freaking hotel room.
They are the type of people that have excelled in their line of work, yet neglect to realize that there is a world with many different types of individuals beyond the four walls of their offices. They become easily frustrated when their subordinates (which they see as pretty much every other human) challenge their supposed authority.
All in all, not the type of people I choose to spend my free time with. Nor are they people that I care to send regular updates on my life to.
My uncle called me to inform me that his wife and him, “prefer to not entertain ‘flavor of the month’ types, and do not consider a relationship official until after college graduation so ‘your friend’ is not invited.”
First of all, I’m not some sleazy hoe with a lack of morals that jumps from guy to guy. At the time of this conversation, “my friend,” whom I prefer to call my boyfriend, and I had been dating for 9 months.
Second of all, since when did a relationship become “official” once I graduated college? Josh graduated two years prior, yet our relationship wall null under their “terms?”
Yeah, you could say I was rattled. After talking to some friends that reassured me that I wasn’t crazy, I told my mom that I was deeply offended by her brothers words and decision to not invite my boyfriend for dinner. Mom obviously jumped into mama bear mode, and emailed her brother calling him out on his blatant rudeness.
As I mentioned before, my mom’s brother and his wife don’t take well to people challenging their decisions. Clearly, this small tiff turned into something greater.
When New Years rolled around, I respected their request and Josh did not accompany me. I decided to stay for a shorter duration than originally planned, because I was still feeling hurt.
Upon arrival, neither my aunt nor my uncle acknowledged my presence. Although I thought it odd, yet not uncharacteristic for the two of them, I positioned myself to spend the majority of my time with my cousins and grandparents. On the day I was planning to leave, my other aunt (not the hostess), advised me to try and talk to the temperamental aunt and uncle. I took her advice, and went to address the issue. They took me upstairs, and before I could even get a word out, they began ripping on me telling me to grow up and stop acting like a child. I was even more hurt and confused and didn’t know what to do other than cry and text Josh to come and pick me up. So hurtful.